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Pregnant Pause: How I Knew We Were Ready to Get Pregnant

By Jill Sabitsana, Brighterlife.com.ph

Comments (6)

04 Pregnant pauseHaving a child will change your life, and I don’t mean the “lovingly looking at your baby while he sleeps through the night like a champ”, kind of change.

Babies are squirmy, poopy, crying creatures that will demand ALL of your time and energy, plus a little more that you never even knew was there. And this is just when he’s a baby, because as he grows older, the demands and corresponding expenses in feeding, sheltering, clothing and educating him, likewise grow as well.

The wise decision is to have your tubes tied and live the life that you want sans responsibilities. But it seems like thousands of years of evolution usually trumps rationality, because even if I knew what being a parent entailed, I still dove into it headfirst. Bloated feet and sore nipples be damned.

For the first year of our married life, my husband and I were steeped in wedding related debt; had zero savings and had no idea what sort of parents we would be, but we knew that we wanted to have children. End of story.

If I were to lay out our financial situation to Suze Orman, with having a baby as our ultimate goal, she probably would say: Girlfriend, you can’t afford to have a baby!

And she would be right. But the thing with wanting to have a baby is that it’s a visceral need that cannot be rationalized. I want to have a baby and so I will make myself be ready to have one.

You can take all the parenting or birthing classes that you can find, but theory is no help at all when you’re faced with a screaming infant who simply refuses to calm down. You can come up with all sorts of lists to get your baby stuff ready, or set up a trust fund for your spawn’s future, but for me the best preparation you can make is to mentally and emotionally prepare yourself for it. Know that life will never be the same again, and that you will be expected to give up some of your dreams and aspirations for that red-faced screamer. And even if you have conditioned yourself to a life of willing martyrdom, there will still be numerous times when you will find yourself wishing that you didn’t pay attention to your natural programming and just went ahead and had your tubes tied.

So how did we know we were ready to have a baby? I never said we were ready.

While I am writing this, I have about a month and a half before my firstborn makes his appearance and we are still woefully unprepared. But despite all the hand-me-downs from my family that still need to be washed and inventoried, and our oft-postponed plans to renovate our condo unit to make it baby ready, we are raring to meet our little bub. With the knowledge that my hubby and I both want this tiny person in our lives and that we would do anything for him, we know that even if we are not ready, we will make things work. And really, as with everything in life, that sort of willingness is oftentimes all you need.

Photo used under Creative Commons from PublicDomainPictures.

 

Jill Sabitsana works for the judiciary where she is paid to meddle in other people’s business. A blogger way before bloggers were deemed cool and influential, she writes about her take on personal finance over at Frugal Honey. She also holds fort at Mom Exchange and Kikay Exchange, niche blogs on parenting and beauty finds, respectively.

 

 

Arianne on

A very nonsense blog that will lead you to nowhere. It’s a waste of time reading it. How did she know she was ready? Nothing. She just felt like it. How did she prepare for it? Nothing stated. I don’t think this is a financial blog that would help somebody, it’s more of a selfie blog how Jill takes in her moment.

Tara on

Thank you for your comment, Arianne. While Jill may not have stated what she did to prepare, she assured other parents-to-be that there can never be enough preparation to be truly ready. One just has to be willing =)

Happy Friday!

    jillsabs on

    Thanks for summarizing my post Tara!

imee on

Aren’t you all sweetness and lightness#snarky I’m guessing what the sweetie upstairs wanted was a checklist. Sampu-sampera yan sa internet. What the author gave is the down and dirty of parenthood. Wanting, willingness, martyrdom, being ugly—> she forgot the drastic change in her sex life—>calling that creature you so love as a red-faced screamer-stinker-money pit-etc—>that is being real.

One thing tho’, really jillsabs(I’m an old fart of a forever Tita/yaya/tutor/spectre-pause giving thought for that moment of overindulgence by kids kind of person so I’m taking the liberty of calling you jill)— a condo? Where on earth will the occasional reinforcement sleep when you need a break? I had a sweetheart of a nephew who went thru’ a dozen of bibs each day when he decided he wanted to stay vertical—>sampayan! I’m not worried a bit for you. Indications are, you got your sh*t together. Very smart woman indeed.

    jillsabs on

    We’re working towards getting a bigger space, but for now, reinforcement comes in the form of his lola who takes care of him while we work. We’re very lucky that my parents live nearby and are generally happy to take care of their grandson, so every morning, I go to work and my hubby brings the baby to his grandparents. This set-up works for us now but is constantly being tweaked, and I have a feeling that we’ll never come up with a perfect scenario, just something that helps us get through the day.

Leanna Mae on

being a pregnant woman it is so hard but challenging…
thats all…

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